


stars gleam - poets dream

by Butterfly



Series: Sheith Quote Week 2017 [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Grief/Mourning, M/M, Pre-Series, and season one episode one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-17 08:13:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13072803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Butterfly/pseuds/Butterfly
Summary: Written for Sheith Quote Week 2017, Day 3: "It's killing me when you're away."Title is from "Without You" from RENT.I tried to look into exactly how long it took the Kerberos crew to get there from Earth in the first place and found conflicting accounts, so for the purposes of this fic, I'm going with roughly 4 1/2 months to reach it.





	stars gleam - poets dream

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Sheith Quote Week 2017, Day 3: "It's killing me when you're away."
> 
> Title is from "Without You" from RENT.
> 
> I tried to look into exactly how long it took the Kerberos crew to get there from Earth in the first place and found conflicting accounts, so for the purposes of this fic, I'm going with roughly 4 1/2 months to reach it.

_Day 0_

Keith breathed into the hug, Shiro's hand tight in his and Shiro's arm warm around his shoulders.

"When I get back, I expect you to have broken the rest of my records," Shiro said, with mock-firmness.

"Sir, yes, sir," Keith replied, amusement lurking under the words. Shiro's chest rumbled with an answering laugh, and he pulled out of their embrace, his hand shifting to keep hold of Keith's shoulder.

He gave Keith a long, searching look but only said, "See you in a year."

Keith nodded, words escaping him. Shiro cupped his cheek for a moment that hung in the air between them. Then he pulled away and turned to meet up with his crew for the mission. Keith stood and watched until Shiro was gone, heart in his throat, then raced towards the site where he was supposed to watch lift-off.

It would only be a year and, what with tests and flying and training, it would feel a lot shorter. Keith shored up his determination.

He'd make Shiro proud.

_Day 32_

Keith's fingers thrummed against his datapad impatiently. It would be another ten minutes before he'd be able to leave the class - maybe longer if that kid in the back kept acting up. Didn't he realize that the rest of them were here to learn?

His pad vibrated under his fingertips and Keith snuck a peek, slumping down in disappointment afterwards. Just some scores from the recent flight tests.

Four more minutes passed, and the teacher was wrapping up. Another buzz under his hand and-

Keith grinned.

_Kerberos mission confirmed to have passed through Jupiter's orbit._

He'd rather get the news straight from Shiro but if that wasn't possible, this was _something_ at least. He shifted restlessly in his seat, eager to head back to his dorm and shift his marker of the mission's progress over to the next section of the wall.

_Day 59_

"-coffee or maybe dinner? Keith? Keith... are you even listening?"

Keith looked up from his homework - there was a tall blonde girl smiling down at him. He searched through his memory for her name but came up empty. He thought he could remember seeing her in Biochem. Maybe?

"Sorry," he said. "I was-" He held up the pad to show her the half-plotted course on the screen. "-you know. For Mathison."

"Oh." She kept smiling, though it had wilted a little around the edges. "I was just... um..." She leaned down slightly. She smelled like some kind of flower that he didn't know the name of. "I was just thinking that we could go out. Together. On a date." Her words had gotten softer and softer as he waited for her to finish, until she was almost whispering by the time she got to the end.

Keith placed his homework down and then said, politely, "I don't really have time for anything like that."

"But even ace pilots need to eat sometime, right? It would just be... with me. Instead of alone."

Keith stared up at her blankly and, not able to come up with another polite excuse, just went with honesty. "I'm not interested in dating." Her face started turning red, so he added, "Anyone, I mean. Not before I graduate." Her eyes were starting to look suspiciously shiny. "Um. I'm sorry? I'm sure lots of people want to date you?"

He picked up his pad and fled before she could say anything else.

_Day 142_

Keith looked again at the latest news on Kerberos - _final approach locked in; ETA 2 hours_. It was six days old now, so why hadn't they gotten an update yet? The actual landing should have shown up for the Garrison long before now.

Keith's pad buzzed, reminding him about the essay due for Kilborne's class, but it was hard to concentrate on quantum theory when all he wanted to do was march over to Iverson's office to ask him for news about the Kerberos mission.

"Patience yields focus," he muttered, looking over at his wall, where the marker for the shuttle hovered just out of reach of Kerberos. He took a few deep breaths, in and out, finally finding his center again. Maybe the Holts had found something truly mind-blowing on Kerberos and the Garrison just didn't want to let the news out yet. No news didn't have to mean bad news. There could be a thousand reasons why they hadn't updated the school yet.

Keith just had to be patient.

_Day 148_

Keith dropped his pad.

It hit the floor hard on an edge and bounced, a small crack spider-webbing along the left side. There was complete silence in the cafeteria as the news hit them all like a shockwave. It lasted maybe half a minute, then quiet murmuring started up at the tables, growing louder as the news sunk in.

Numbly, Keith leaned over to read the update again.

_Kerberos shuttle crashed due to pilot error, all hands lost._

He left, lunch forgotten, and went straight back to his room. There was the little magnetic shuttle, right next to a paper Kerberos.

He stared at it for a long, long time.

_Day 173_

"We need to talk about your recent test scores," Iverson said to the top of Keith's head. Keith couldn't think of a response, so he stayed quiet. He didn't have to look up to know that Iverson would be crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back against his desk. It was the fifth time that Iverson had done this since... anyway, Keith knew the rough shape of how the conversation would go and he was getting tired of it. "Look, son, if you need to talk to someone, we'll arrange it. You're our best pilot, but even you won't be able to pull out of this nosedive if you don't start pulling up soon."

"Shiro is your best pilot," Keith corrected, softly, not able to stop himself.

There was a loud sigh. "Yeah, Shirogane was a hell of a pilot. Is that what this is all about? Are you worried that his failure means you might make the same mistakes?"

Keith pressed his lips together and started counting down from one-hundred.

"You don't have to worry about that," Iverson said and the kindness in his voice just made everything twist around harder in Keith's guts. "Shirogane was one of our greatest, but you have an instinct for flying that I've never seen before."

_Ninety-two. Ninety-one._

"You won't make the same mistakes he made. Especially not if you buckle down and-"

_Eighty-seven. Eighty-six._

"-put everything you've got into making sure you bring your crew home safely. Don't let Shirogane scare you away from flying. Don't let his failures affect your choices. You're smart, son, and you're a natural."

_Seventy-five. Seventy-four._

"He was good - you're the best. And we're here to support you-"

Keith turned his face up for the first time since Iverson had started talking and Iverson blinked, sentence stopping cold.

"Support me?" Keith wet his lips. "Like how you supported Shiro by throwing him - his name, his _reputation_ \- into the dirt for the media to tear to pieces? I don't need that kind of support. _Sir_."

"Look, son, I didn't-"

"Stop calling me that," Keith said flatly. "You don't know me and you don't know Shiro. He didn't- he would _never_ -" Keith got to his feet and glared up at Iverson. "Whatever happened out there - it wasn't Shiro's fault. He didn't take chances with people's lives."

"Cadet, anyone can make a mistake," Iverson said, all that patient understanding gone from his voice as it sharpened. "I suggest that you avoid making one here today. Shirogane was a hero to a lot of the students but, frankly, he was never as good as his-"

Then Iverson was clutching at his nose and Keith's knuckles were burning and... _oh, I just punched the head of the Garrison_ floated dizzily through Keith's brain.

"What the hell, kid!" Iverson flailed a hand at the phone on his desk, blood seeping from his nose. "Jeffery, I'm heading to the Infirmary." He released the button, cutting off Jeffery's response, and said to Keith, "You have two options. Apologize right now and start getting your act together, or grab your things and get the hell out of this school before the end of the day. Understood?"

Keith stood there for a moment, body swaying, and then he turned and walked out.

_Day 243_

Keith sketched the outline of the stylized lion onto a blank sheet of paper and frowned at it. Why lions? His radio buzzed and hummed with the latest space chatter. He clipped the sketch up next to the set of maps.

Shiro was dead. He'd accepted that, a long time ago, but something about the Kerberos mission - about the Garrison's reaction - it still felt all kinds of wrong. And he was sure it had to be connected to those figures in the cave. There was a message there.

He just had to figure out what it meant.

_Day 316_

It had been a bad night.

Keith rubbed at his eyes, trying to wipe away the nightmare.

The Garrison had never released the full details about what went wrong on the Kerberos mission, so Keith would never know if Shiro had died instantly or if he'd gotten exposed to space first. Keith's dream last night had featured the latter scenario, in vivid color. Shiro was dead. He'd been dead for months. Why couldn't he stay out of Keith's head?

Keith forcibly yanked his thoughts back to focus on the cave. There was... he was starting to pick apart the meanings.

And he had to focus on what was right in front of him, not get distracted by what was floating alone in space, far beyond his reach.

_Day 464_

He was running low on food again. Keith stared at his shelves and debated between hunting or going to town. He didn't really feel like being around people - he was definitely out of practice - but his hover bike's fan blades could stand to be replaced. Maybe it would be worth it.

He dug through his money and made a face at how low _that_ was getting, too. He might need to do a couple of races in the next month to fill his stash back up. There was always the risk that he'd get caught, but it wasn't like it would matter if he got locked up for a few days. There wasn't anyone around to miss him.

_Day 512_

Keith tapped his fingers against the paper. He was sure of it now. Something was coming - tomorrow, if he was reading these signs correctly.

Okay, so he should get the hover bike fueled up, get some supplies - whatever was coming might be dangerous. He should bring more than just his knife along.

Keith patted his hand against the lion sketch.

"Tomorrow," he promised it. "By tomorrow night, I'll have you all figured out."

Space had taken enough away from him, after all.

It owed him something in return.

_~~Day 513~~ Day 0_

Keith sat on the unyielding wood of his table. Behind him, the three Garrison kids chattered and argued, but Keith barely heard them. Keith hadn't realized it at the time, but everything had become a little fuzzy over the last year. He'd been drifting along, more alone than he'd ever been before in his life.

Now... _now_...

Shiro was overflowing the sofa, breathing steadily as he slept - real sleep, from what Keith could tell. He would whisper from time to time, his forehead creasing with panic, and Keith would reach out and rest his hand against Shiro's bare forearm until he settled back down again. Whatever had happened out there had hurt Shiro deeply - scarred him physically, mentally, emotionally. He wasn't the same as he had been and probably never would be.

He was Shiro, though, and that was what mattered. He was Shiro and he was finally here again.

All Keith's life, he'd lost things - places - people.

And in all his life, this was the first time anything had come back.


End file.
